Avatar: The Greatest Story Ever Told

In twelve times twelve years time, on a planet far, far away...

Our hero Jay-Su came down from Heaven

He was made incarnate by virgin birth (grown in a lab).

He spent his first night in a stable.

He was surrounded by annoying Jews.

Jay-Su was tested during His time alone in the wilderness.

The Holy jellyfish Spirit descended upon Him as a sign from God - called Yahweh, Aiwass, or something similar.....

He had a rival called Satan, Sutekh, Set, or something similar sounding...

He rode in triumph into the sacred place on the back of a beast - hurrah! Only 5 people had done this before - EVER!*

His mission was to overthrow the oppressive rulers of His people and unite all races - whoo!

He was condemned by the elders, who bound and crucified Him with another criminal, as thunder roared across the sky - booo!

Jay-Su forgave his enemies -ahh.

He died aged 33** :(

...but He rose from the dead into a new sanctified body about 3 days later, yay!

Jay-Su's new birthday was on the 25th lol

The Messianic Christian story has been bolted on top of biographies many times before Avatar, and many times before Jesus: Tammuz, Mithras, Hindoo Sakia, Quexalcote, and Prometheus were all Suns of God, born of virgins, who ministered til age 33, died on crosses, and rose again. If you subtract these recurring themes from the biography sold by the Vatican, you'll end up with something close to the truth...

*The "this has happened 5 times" theme, seen also in the movie Matrix Reloaded comes from either the fact that our time was known to the Mayans as the Age of the 5th Sun (5 long-count cycles of 5125 years = one Great Zodiacal Year), or the fact that Terran humans have reached our level of civilisation 5 times previously, before we knocked ourselves back into the stone age - last time during the war between Lumuria and Atlantis.

**the age of the actor playing Jay-Su.